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Sexual Child Abuse Knows No Gender
Male Sexual Abuse Survivors face the same emotional,
mental, physical and spiritual trauma women survivors face
with two exceptions—they judge themselves more harshly, and
they have difficulty recognizing/believing they have been
abused.
David Finkelhor and J. Bziuba-Leatherman’s studies
reveal 31% of boys are sexually abused by age 18. Finkelhor,
David and J. Dziuba-Leatherman. "Victimization of Children."
American Psychologist Vol. 49:3 (1992): 173-183.
Men's indoctrination since childhood dictates
that they are to prove their sexual prowess. Sexual activity,
for boys as young as 12, is seldom considered inappropriate.
More often than not, sexual activity is considered an early
introduction to manhood. Therefore, if an older girl initiates
sex with a younger boy, he considers it an introduction to
sex, proving his manliness. Additionally, men are indoctrinated
to defend themselves against all odds—to fight to the death
to protect their manliness. They are expected to risk their
life or sustain severe injury to protect their pride and self-respect.
These distorted beliefs about manliness and masculinity are
deeply ingrained and can lead to intense feelings of guilt,
shame and inadequacy for the male survivor. Both male and
female survivors generally question whether they deserved
or somehow wanted to be sexually abused; they believe if they
failed to defend themselves, they must have wanted it.
Although, both female and male survivors frequently
view their abuse as a loss of manhood or femininity and are
disgusted with themselves for not fighting back, men judge
themselves more harshly. As a result of their guilt, shame
and anger, both men and women punish themselves by engaging
in self-destructive behavior such as self-injury, acting out
rage, etc., as well as alcohol or drug use, prostitution,
rape and numerous other criminal behaviors.
For some men self-destructive behavior means
engaging in aggressiveness, such as road rage, arguing with
friends or co-workers, or picking fights with strangers, as
well as domestic violence as a way to regain their honor.
Both men and women pull back from intimacy and end up feeling
more and more isolated.
Society’s most devastating myth about child
sexual abuse is that boys can't be sexually abused. The perpetuation
of this myth leaves boys more vulnerable to being abused.
Fact: Masculine gender socialization instills
in boys the belief they are to be strong; they should learn
to protect themselves. In truth, boys are children and are
as vulnerable as girls. They cannot really fight back against
the sex offender. A sex offender generally has greater size,
strength, knowledge, or a position of authority, using such
resources as money or other bribes, or outright threats—whatever
advantage the sex offender can take to get what they want.
The following publications attest to the prevalence
of male sexual child abuse.
- Crime of rape knows no gender lines, Jennifer Hong, Columbia
Missourian, June 11, 1995.
- For the Man Who is Sexually Assaulted from the Orange
County Rape Crisis Center (North Carolina).
- For Men Only: For Male Survivors of Sexual Assault, Counseling
& Mental Health Center, University of Texas at Austin.
- Male Rape from the National Victim Center cites a few
statistics, provides a good and sensitive overview of the
subject and includes references and a bibliography, but
no links to other resources on the Web.
- Male Rape - The hidden trauma is a review by LIAM O COILEAIN
of a television program of the same name that was aired
in Ireland on February 29, 1996. It mentions the Dublin
Rape Crisis Center listed above under hotlines.
- Male Rape Victims Subject to Ridicule by Jeremy Seabrook
for the (British?) New Statesman & Society (April 27, 1990)
- "Male Sexual Assault" is a public education brochure
available from the New York City Gay & Lesbian Anti-Violence
Project (AVP) (1999.09.23: Found new URL, restored link)
- Male sexual assault not uncommon, Reuters Health, March
26, 1999. According to a report published in the British
Medical Journal 1999;318:846-850, 2,500 British men were
surveyed. 3% reported they had been sexually assaulted as
an adult, and nearly half of them were assaulted by women.
- Male Survivors of Sexual Assaults from RPEP, the Rape
Prevention Education Program of the University of California
at Davis, maintained by Alexander Orland.
- Memories of Rape is a chilling and courageous first-person
account of ongoing rape, assault and abuse in prison by
David Pittman, hosted by Stop Prisoner Rape. • Men don't
get raped!, Ernest Woollett, Survivors, PO Box 2470, London
W2 INN
- Men Raped: Supporting the Male Survivor of Sexual Assault
on the College Campus, Lester J. Manzano, no date available.
- Men and sexual assault, Linda Oakleaf
- More male veterans reporting that they were sexually assaulted,
Philadelphia Inquirer, September 27, 1997 (1998.10.02: no
Web link available)
- Myths and Facts About Sexual Violence from the National
Coalition Against Sexual Assault (NCASA) includes a section
headed "MYTHS AND FACTS ABOUT MALE RAPE."
- No Safe Place: A male survivor of sexual abuse confronts
his past in a Monterey California support group, Mary Barker,
Herald Staff Writer, March 21, 1997, Monterey, CA
- Rape of Males by the late Stephen Donaldson of Stop Prisoner
Rape, from Encyclopedia of Homosexuality, Wayne R. Dynes,
ed., 1990, NY: Garland Publications. Alternate: Rape of
Males, mirrored by Ellen Spertus.
- Rape's Unnoticed Victim by Susan Wachob (1999.09.11: Updated
URL)
- Sexual abuse of men and boys by Dez Wildwood, who identifies
as a man who has been sexually assaulted in this article
written for XY magazine in Australia
- Sexual Assault, Chapter 14 in the US Department of Justice's
online National Victim Assistance Academy, is a general
resource that is largely gender-neutral, addresses issues
and needs of male survivors ("victims") as well as female,
and examines changing role of gender in defining rape and
sexual assault.
- Silent Victims: Bringing Male Rape Victims Out of the
Closet by Sue Rochman, originally published in The Advocate,
Issue 582, July 30, 1991, p40.
- Survivors are ashamed by the taboo, the Rape Network
- To a Man Who Has Been Sexually Assaulted from Coordinated
Community Response for Sexual Assault of Dane County, Wisconsin,
attributed to "a man who had been sexually assaulted and
counseled at St. Vincent's Rape Crisis Program" [New York
City, listed under Hotlines].
- When the survivor is male by Linda Oakleaf, Rape Victim
Advocates, Illinois
The after effects of sexual abuse are no less
devastating for men than woman and the healing process is
essentially the same. Talk therapy is inadequate to uncover
the emotional pain, and heal the trauma trapped in muscles
and tissue. To fully appreciate the depth of this pain, I
will quote one of my male clients, "Even my blood hurts."
A multifaceted healing process specifically focused on sexual
abuse recovery and diligent work is the most effective; wherein
the survivor can replenish their emotional and spiritual identity
and empowerment.
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About the Author:
Dorothy M. Neddermeyer, PhD, Author, If I’d Only Known…Sexual
Abuse in or out of the Family: A Guide to Prevention, specializes
in verbal, sexual and physical abuse prevention and recovery.
As an inspirational leader, Dr. Neddermeyer empowers people
to view life's challenges as an opportunity for Personal/Professional
Growth and Spiritual Awakening. http://www.drdorothy.net
Article Source, click
here.
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