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Sexual Abuse Recovery--Finding the Right Professional
Sexual abuse does not heal itself. Time, marriages, children,
success, wealth, buying a bigger house, or faster car, changing
jobs or relocating will not CURE it. The damages are deep,
pervasive and profound. It is a soul injury. The survivor
is robbed of his or her innocence, core identity and trust.
It is 'violence' that does not require force. The child is
thrown into a state of shock. For some the memories remain
conscious, while others drive them beneath the conscious level.
These coping mechanisms are carried into adulthood and impact
the person's life on every level.
If a professional asks: "What is wrong with you?" or "What
happened to you?" find another professional. Asking, "What
is wrong with you?" or "What happened to you?" implies blame,
sickness and fault. Asking, "What did you experience growing
up?"—allows the person to begin the process of discovering
the source of their pain and healing the wounds.
- What is your approach to the recovery process? The basic
recovery process is: Discovery, Heal, Discovery, Heal. Processing
feelings and uncovering the layers of pain--"Going into
the Pain to get out of the Pain." "There is no gain without
pain." If the professional is unable to give you a process
similar to this, thank the professional for their time and
call another professional.
- Do you allow short phone conversations (10 - 15 min.)
between sessions? If the answer is, "NO." Thank the professional
for their time and call another professional. Being able
to have short phone conversations between sessions is paramount
to the survivor's ability to develop the deep level of trust
required to go through the healing process. Furthermore,
people aren't only in pain on Tuesday at 3 p.m. The recovery
process is a 24/7 proposition, the professional's support
between sessions is critical to recovery.
- What are the critical emotional issues in the recovery
process? The correct answer is: Processing Anger/Rage, Sadness,
Guilt, Humiliation and Shame. If the professional is unable
to readily list these five emotions, Thank the professional
for their time and call another professional.
- What tools and techniques do you use to facilitate the
recovery process? If the professional is trained in sexual
abuse recovery, he or she will name all of the following
techniques: Guided Imagery, Therapeutic Journaling, Dream
Analysis, Using Affirmations, Using the book, "The Courage
to Heal Workbook" by Laura Davis, Hypnosis/regression, Cell
Memory Releasing.
- The following techniques, or some variation, are optional,
but highly recommended:
- Meditation
- Exercise
- Dance
- Music
- Movement Therapy
What is the difference between treating 'symptoms' and treating
'root cause?' Treating symptoms focuses on the symptomatic
coping mechanisms the survivor used to survive the pain, i.e.
drug/alcohol abuse, eating disorders, depression, anxiety,
panic attacks, co-dependency, chronic fatigue syndrome, migraine
headaches, arthritis, cancer, MS, sexual addiction, etc. Treating
'root cause' focuses on the experience the survivor endured—the
sexual abuse and the ensuing aftereffects. Uncovering the
pain and healing the emotions associated with that pain. Note:
Question above regarding the emotions indigenous to sexual
abuse. See aftereffects list – http://www.gen-assist.com/sa/aftereffects.asp
Last, but not least, if the professional fails to answer
any one of these questions with similar or exact answers thank
him or her for his or her time and call another professional.
If you are unable to find a professional through the yellow
pages or referral contact: http://www.gen-assist.com
or dmneddermeyer@gen-assist.com
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About the Author:
Dorothy M. Neddermeyer, PhD, author, "If I'd Only Known...Sexual
Abuse in or Out of the Family: A Guide to Prevention, specializes
in verbal, physical and sexual abuse prevention and recovery.
www.gen-assist.com/book.asp
Article Source, click
here.
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